Ok, folks. I've asked before and I'll ask again: Who would like to make a few dollars with me on the side and write a book? I'm simply looking for someone willing to reveal to the world their shortcomings and embarrassing moments where they probably should have been fired from their jobs! We'll combine them, along with the lessons we've learned, into one funny and inspiring book (at least, that's what it'll say on the back cover).
Here are a couple of mine:
1) The "Anna" incident: As a youth pastor in TX, I hit "play" on the VCR (for those of you who remember what that is) at the back of the church and then went to sit with my wife, Alace. However, in the darkness of the room, I had accidentally slid into the wrong aisle and was sitting next to, and had my arm around and pulling close, a teenager! Where was Alace? Sitting in the aisle behind, yucking it up with the rest of the youth group.
2) The "Rachael" incident: As a youth pastor in PA, I was a director of several retreats where I had to show up early and stay late. At one such retreat, I was wrapping things up and getting on the road. Hoping to see where our church's youth group was as well as say affectionate things to my wife (one of our groups leaders), I decided to give her a call on her cell phone. Upon hearing "hello" at the other end, I thought it'd be cute to ask her "Hey honey... what are you wearing?", to which I heard a startled voice yell- "STEPHEN STRAW- THIS IS RACHAEL!!!" What followed was a mix of anger, confusion, and dismay. Alace picked up the phone, while watching Rachaels' face get redder and redder and said... "Honey- what did you just say?" ...needless to say, I had some 'splainin' to do.
3) The "Heather" incident: Long story short (Heather's last name is Storey, so... pardon the pun), Heather was in the church van and about to sit down on a bag full of sandwiches. What did I do? Well, it's logical... stop Heather from sitting down, which, from my location, at the van side door, meant lunging inside and pushing on her backside to stop her. Hmmm... youth pastor pushing on a teenage girls' butt. Not good. By the way- a teenage boy simultaneously acted to stop this at the same time. What did he do? Grab the bag of sandwiches! Now... why didn't I think of that!?!
4) The "Blue Chair" incident: Summary- I had the youth group split up into about 10 groups of 7-8 and do a spray-painting project in the church gym. Problem? The unforeseen problem of poor ventilation in the gym. Suddenly, we had a lot of "happy" teens. Church was never so fun! ...by the way... I apologize for the global warming problem that also resulted from this night back in the year 2000.
5) The "Big Red" incident: Summary- Our church's van was nicknamed "Big Red". One evening before youth group, I took our student intern, Big Dan (that's funny... "Big Dan" in "Big Red"....) out for a taco at Taco Bell. I got antsy in the line at the drive thru. We decided to go inside, so I threw 'er in reverse. Problem? I didn't see the small sports car that had pulled very close to the back of the van and the sound of a crumpling soda can was the next thing I heard. Bummer.
6) The "Chinese Firedrill" incident...
7) The Youth Conference fund incident...
8)..... the list goes on and on.
So... who's in?
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